Love and Ethics

Jason Peterson
(Copyright 2004)

A Philosophical Take on Love
And the Ethical Implications of Such

As a premise, I would like to argue that the maturing of the mind is a phenomenon that has its roots in classical theory, and that allowing for cognitive development to occur, it should be considered a strong basis for the development of reasoning behind interactions with other persons or things, understanding of one’s attachment to those persons or things, and one’s ethical ability (the ability to understand and take into account other viewpoints, and disassociate from personal ego or bias, so as to be able to make active judgments about occurrences in life in an ethical manner). With that in mind, I will reclassify the stages of development to aid in the understanding of the nature of love, and the relationship between love, cognitive ability, and ethical ability.

Putting Love in Context

In approaching this topic, I find it necessary that we first cleanse ourselves of the jumbled, diverse, and ambiguous popular understandings of the term love. I have redefined it, for the purposes of this essay, to strictly refer to the feeling a person gets from their interactions with another person (or thing), in any situation where the fore-mentioned person has a positive reaction to, or a reason to want to continue such interactions. I refrain from any additional explanation that relies on incomprehensible connections between subjects. I maintain that all types of love are a result of practical and measurable ‘cause-and-effect’ relationships between persons and various stimuli.

Psychological Theory as a Foundation

The three forms of love that I will be covering are substantially in agreement with Piaget’s theory of psychological stages of development. However, since we are dealing with a more complex subject, I find it unnecessary to address the first of his four stages (sensory-motor). This leaves us with Pre-operational, Concrete-operational, and Formal-operational. These three stages develop in a set pattern from the first to the last, as do the three forms of love: Primal, Familial, and Intimate. And like the operational stages, when a stage is through it does not cease to be a factor in the current person. What is picked up in each stage stays in some amount through the entire lifespan of that person, not that the conclusions that can be derived from such stages of reasoning are continually acted upon, but they are none-the-less always taken into account. In the Pre-operational stage, thinking is still egocentric. The Concrete-operational stage comes into play as a person learns to think logically about objects and events, and by the time a person matures to the Formal-operational stage, they are able to think logically about abstract propositions, and become concerned with the hypothetical, the future, and ideological problems. As I go on to discuss the three forms of love and their related types, it should become evident how these two theories seem to mirror each other in terms of the cognitive ability obtainable within their stages.

A Categorical Division of the Seven Types of Love

The spectrum of the various types of love (reasons to continue interaction) can be identified as each belonging to one of seven categorical topics, all of which themselves belong to one of the three forms of love. The first and most basic form of love is Primal Love. Primal Love is the first type to evolve in a maturing mind, and it is named such because it is more closely associated to survival instincts than the other two. Within this form are two types of love, the first being Direct Self-Centric Love. This type refers to a personal active gain of emotional or physical satisfaction, and wanting to continue the interaction with the person or thing from which you received this feeling, on account of that satisfaction (i.e. physical pleasure of sex). The second type of Primal Love is Indirect Self-Centric Love. This refers to the urge to continue interaction with a person or thing based on the satisfaction of a reward, or indirect gain (expected compensation for a certain action) from that person or thing.

The second form of love to develop in a maturing mind is Familial Love. This takes its name from its encompassing of the types of love that are basic necessities to keeping a family or community in a working condition. The first type of Familial Love is Communal Love. This refers to the urge to continue interactions with a person or thing based on the personal desire to avert loneliness, or a mutual agreement to do so. The second type is Traditional/Habitual Love. This refers to the urge to continue interactions with a person or thing based on the ease of, or conformability with a routine or pattern in daily/weekly/annual interactions with said person or thing. This type also includes any preference of inactivity over the loss of that set pattern. The third type of Familial Love is Obligatory Love. This refers to the urge to continue interactions with a person or thing based on the concept of debt, or the feeling that you ‘owe’ these interactions to that person or thing (i.e. “She has been so good to me, she deserves to be treated well.”).

The third form of love, and the last to develop in a maturing mind, is Intimate Love, which derives its name from representing the types of love that result from immaterial or theoretic causal stimuli, or what many would classify as the product of ‘enlightened’ or ‘altruistic’ motivations. It is intimate in the sense that it seems very personal and profound, and may appear to reach beyond the bounds of mortal desire. The first type of Intimate Love is Moral Love. This refers to the urge to continue interactions with a person or thing based on your desire to live up to your inner sense of morality or self-expectations. The second type of Intimate Love is Spiritual Love. This refers to the urge to continue interactions with a person or thing based purely and simply on a transcendental verification, from some kind of ‘higher’ source than oneself, that it “feels right.”




The Ethical Implications

As the mind matures, and as you develop the capability to indulge in the higher variations of love, your cognitive ability increases and your ethical ability changes. In the Primal stages, persons do not have the experience or equipment necessary to make ethical decisions, as they are developmentally biased towards themselves. In the Familial stages of mental maturity, ethical ability starts to become unbiased, but it still functions under more of an ‘eye-for-an-eye’ system, which although it might seem fair, it is still ultimately too destructive to promote a truly ethical environment. As the mind matures to the point of having the capability to indulge in Intimate Love, ethical ability raises exponentially. It is here that morals become commonplace in the decision making process, and people’s religion and values are given more credit than their own mortal desires. This allows people to participate in what I call moral relationships. It is only here that one can come to believe in and practice unconditional love. However, the implications go beyond that. With the ability to love in such a way, the mind is free enough to be able to view all issues and circumstances in the world with minimal bias, with positive/constructive intentions, with untainted motivation to act on belief, and with the foresight to promote an environment that is not only ethical, but also serves to encourage others to act ethically within it.

As mentioned before, the maturing of the mind does not mandate that everyone will act on their highest level of ability at all times. The former stages are still always taken into account. However, in comparing the studies of people who are either more educated or maintain healthier relationships, there is a positive correlation to how they respond to ethic situations that shows a substantially similar level of ethical ability. These variables are significant because education is a form of experience that forces people to acknowledge a large variety of worldly situations, and healthy relationships are a good sign that there are higher types of love involved, both which aid in the maturity of the mind. This correlation allows us to form an ethical average, which is the average level of a person’s active ethical behavior in comparison to a person’s level of ethical thinking.

Since a person’s level of cognitive development, and their varying reasons for continuing positive interactions with persons and things, correlate to such an extent, I find there to be good reason for believing that ethical ability (which seems to relate to both quite strongly) is measurable and predictable to a useful extent. Furthermore, that in determining who is capable of a high ethical average, we will be able to form a good idea as to who we should trust to make societal judgment calls on ethical issues.